down...

it has been quite sometimes since I wrote in here.. i just not been a good time last few weeks for me. a challenge one after another until i felt that i m truly out of myself.

money and love

last time people use to say that money cannot buy love
but
nowadays, no money no love...

love is build from the sign of money because most of us are materialistic..
isn't it true????
u are part of it and so do I..

remember when u are getting married , those days u said that he/she is your life
but
what happened now...where's the love,,,,it was hardly there ...
why???
u asked yourself why???
isn't it all about money???

last time, when u wanted to start your life with your love one,
everything is under control
because
u never think of your 10 to 20 years future but
when your are here now
you realized that u have made a big mistake

MISTAKE for your whole life...why??
now only u know that love only cannot help u to raise your family,
cannot guarantee your leisure, your child education, your wealth and most of all your
HAPPINESS..

I know because I am in it now...

therefore don't just look for love because love can become sour but money...
u can become wealthy through the time....
another thing is ....your marriage can end because of no MONEY..

LOVE

Love is something that we cannot describe
Many said that love is blind but
it is not, it you that blind
u can choose who u want to love or what to love and when to love

Love is beautiful , yeah it's true but once u have it in your hand
sometimes u never appreciated it anymore
Love is sometimes u chase to have but you forget about it once u getting tired of it

Love is something that u have to honor because to get it
u need to sacrifice and earn to have it

but

what happen then is sometimes people just don't understand what LOVE is and
that is the reason why they just run away from it once they got NEW love...how could this happened
why u allow this, why u never learn from the past ....why,why,why???
normally, love is something hard to get but when u are feed up with it....it's easily to dump it
what will happen to the other party...is it fair...

is it fair for those that chase their love but never get it.....

MEMORIES

  

 A lots of things happen to us everyday

A lots of dreams for us to achieve

A lots of hearts was broken because of it

AND

A lots of time we missed IT

But the most important is that everytime we pass

through anythings, 

everythings became either sweet or sour memories

YES, the only things that we cannot skip

in live is living with our own memories

good or bad, it is there all the times

SO, face it, admit it and learn from it.

MEMORIES, things that we never plan to have or live without..

 

un official business trip to malacca

What a tiring day...starts my journey with my baby, Amirul, daughter Ayis and son Boboy from 930am from KL and reached Malacca around 11am. The worst part is I lost my way to the location that I m supposed to go. Lucky my appointment is at 12noon otherwise I would feel embarrassing infront of my client.

Today, I managed to sign 1 repeat case and got another 2 new clients that interested to invest their EPF through me. Thank God but I m still far away behind my target. I don't even know how to achieve the figure that I have committed with my company - RM10 million by end of September 2010..Can I do it? A BIG ? here..How ,who and when????

I wish I will get the opportunity to close corporate investment before the due date and at the same time can get a lots of potential client that can invest millions with me...Oh God, ALLAH S.W.T, please fulfill my wish and pray...

I take this opportunity to bring my kids to go round Malacca city and guest what, my baby,
Amirul was asking for something unaffordable..and I have to bag him by bought him 'doreamon'..lucky me!

But i am a bit frustrated because I m supposed to see another 2 clients , 1 is repeat client and 1 new client but due to some unforeseen circumstances, plan changed....

I find Malacca have changed in its development and i feel proud to be Malaysian...the heritage and historical was kept in good place ....MALAYSIA TRULY ASIA..

facebook

talking about facebook, yeah...what a helpful link that help most of us to find each other even after a long long lost searching...

at the begining, i felt that what a waste of time just sit in front of the laptop and typing but now since i have account in the facebook, it become a must do thing everyday.being able to communicate with my ex classmate, friends and families no matter where they are , have bring back all the joyful and memories... 

all of my children have their own facebook but i never read or link theirs to mine..let give them privacy but when i m online and in the midst of talking or discussing something with other people, i always asked for their opinion or assistance should i face any difficulties

even i find that writing in blog has help me to improve my writing skills ....i m not a good writer anyway..oh ya, yesterday I attended our agency meeting and my collegue has pass me a few ledger for me to follow up and monitor...thank God...Alhamdulillah. It has made my life easy. I also went to London Weight Management as a weekly routine but the result is not as good aas last 2 weeks, i lost about 0.5kg and my current weight is now 68.7kg...a long way to go to 55kg....13.7kg..can i do it?


Just now, my ex-classmates, sumardi comment on my profile photo and said that i look like untie...gosh, i felt very upset but i take his comment +ve and will improve him that i will get my figure in 2 months time..i know i can do it.
 to all of my friends that have seen my photo, don't be surprise to see my new photo in 2 months time..new me..teng,teng ,teng..

happy mother day

1st of all, I would like to express my greatful and love to my mum...the only one. Happy mother day to me also..as a mother and wife, I guess I should be appreciated as an important person in this world may not by everybody but  at least from my hubby and my own kids...

I was pretty upset with my hubby yesterday evening....I feel like crying but I hold my tears hardly because i was in a crowd of peoples at TESCO. I remember during our holiday trip in Sabah, I had requested a 'white gold' ring from him..I remember the last time he bought me a gift was for my birthday last 2006 .

If not mistaken, the last time he bought me gold was in the year 2000.. Yesterday I purposely asked him for a mother's day gift but he said he is not buying it for me the ring and told me that I must buy by my own...I just can't believe he said that to me..how do i feel...

After came back from TESCO yesterday, I dont feel like talking to him...where the romantic , the loving and caring site of him..he has become so calculative..I m his wife

I wish I can afford to buy my own ring..it okay, I believe God is fair and I will get it one day...may Allah SWT bless me.


P/s: Dont rely on people..even your love's one.

those old days....schooling times

I was surprise receiving call early morning on last Saturday, 1 May 2010 from my old classmates - Mohd Shukri. After 26 yrs we lost contact ,he managed to trace me..thank God.

From him, I got to contact will my childhood friend Wati.. my bestfriend when I was in form 5 in 1986- Rosnim Long who is now a teacher, Mazila Hassan, Azhar Ahmad, Rodzi Abu Seman, Dewi Anis, Azhaidah, Mohd Jesry, Ku Shahrom, Aida Elina, Joyce Ragavan, Mohd Shah and most of all, my bestfriend when I was in Form 3, 1984 at Putra Secondary School - Dr Azman Abdullah...

How I miss all of them....looking at the form 2P1 photo back in 1983 load in Facebook by Mohd Shukri...everyone of us look so naive..

Maybe one of these day, we would arrange for a re union....

sometimes....

It has been quite sometimes since I write here, why? I don't know..To say that I m busy, I don't think so but maybe a bit lazy and bored with life and maybe I don't even know what to write..

Is there anybody that would read my boring blog...I m not a good writer..

Sometimes I think is it because I m fat now so that why i become lazy and not motivated..how can I get back  my figure and appreance that all this while has given me 1001 confindence.

I had once registered for a 'free trial' with a slimming center- London Weight Management but I keep postponing it until last Monday , 26 Apr 10 ...when I  decided to go for the trial..

Thinking back , the main reason why I dare to go is because of $$$$...I don't think that I can afford...

I know that I have to be more discipline to change..last time after having 4 kids, my weight is only 55-58kg..Look at the attached photo, it was way back in 2003 when i was 34 yrs old but now, my weight already reached 70.9kg...oh my god, what happen to me?..That is why I feel so ugly and not attractive at all.Last time,I feel so glamour like public figure but now ...OUT..DISGUSTING..BURN, MELT,RUBBISH...I got a lot of toxin and water inside my body..where does it come from I don't know.

After the 'trial session' at London Weight Management,I lost 1.8kg to 69.1kg...I m so happy..so fast result..it shows that if i really discipline and continue treatment at the slimming center and follow the guidelines, I can slim down to my ideal weight at 55kg within 2-3 months or if there is miracle, I can even go down to 50kg..Eeeee, I can't wait for the time to come. My only problem is MONEY...Money, money ,money....to join the program...pity me..I wish there is a way for me to find enough money ...How I wish....?????? Sugar daddy....opps..I don't think anyone would get interested on me anymore..


i need to organize my own diet..drink a lot of water, eating less rice but more fruits and vegetables....i will load in my new photo once I success get my ideal weight and figure..I 'll prove to my hubby that i m still attractive and pretty . I know he look down on me because I m jobless and fat.

Oh God, ALLAH SWT, I pray for my success and better life and future, may i become a millionaire, healthy, wealthy and successful person...amin!
 

AS AT TODAY

Today, Sue and Ayish looks so sweet and beutiful. Today is their 1st day attending training as VIP Ambassador for International Event at PWTC from 19-22 Apr 10 ni.

I was not sure to allow them to do 'part time' for the event but after thinking so many times I guess no harm for them to expose themselves with a real working environment... exposure for future knowledge,n fact, it is not easy to get an opportunity and chance like this.For me, it ia quite costly to send both of them there because I need to spend quite amount of money for their suitable outfit for the event.

Talking about money.....I think everybody must have face the same problem . The higher salary you get, the more you will spend and end up still not enough.....during my working time, I got no problem to spend for anything I and my kids want but after being 'jobless' or 'business woman', I have to think and think before spending....what a terrible life.

I guess I have to live with it at the moment...to ask from hubby, I dare to ask him but sometimes I got no choice...business, as I said.....no yet!!! Still crawling....

Doing own business is very tough but doesn't mean I cannot success..actually, I believe I can own better from those that under employment..its just that I need to put more effort, consistent and never give up. Avoid all the -ve influence, -ve thinking, or anything that is negative.

Sincerely, talking is easy than doing.... challengeeeee.
I got a lot to share but...next time la..

old memories

It was always in my mind about my childrens. Whenever I saw them passing by infront of me..how the life have been thru all this while..how old am i now.. Oh God, I almost forgot seeing all my kids  grown up and how the 'extra company' come into my life...YEAH, My baby, Am....

Yeah, Suehana , my eldest daughter...who knows I may get 'son in law' by next year
Ayish, my 2nd daughter ..guess another Dean list for her this semester,  ALL THE BEST FOR HER..
Boboy, 3rd son..happy study at your new college, new life by end of this May
Ayiep, 4th son..new hope for all the teachers at new school with all the new friends
Am..my baby...mmm, forever learn all the new thing in life, beginings of life and to build a journey of his own live
My loving hubby -Aziz, All the best with your new life and new  career at new place and new collegues..retire is not the end of life but its a new starting point for the new era.



Me, yeah ..still searching where am I , where's the last Nor to be polished, to be a new Me and to build success..It's very hard to start a new Me when I have nothing left from the last time..I lost my energy, confidence level, courage,contact, money, position and my appearance..I lost everything once I put on weight which I never expect how and when but I just no longer the Nor before..there is an empty space inside me that I need to challenge , need to improve, to prove and to wake up...i knew that there's a light in front of me but I need to put an effort and fight to get it..I want to be A Millionaire..if other people can ,why can't I.


Friends, there's no friends title in my life as none of them are there when I need them..but its ok..for me with or without them, LIFE HAVE TO GO ON, NO TURNING BACK..